New Iraq Policy

That's it. I've decided to enforce MY Iraq Policy.

Here it is:

The Iraqi People have one year from today's date to put their crap together and figure out how to live together in peace with each other and the world...

OR,

The United States of America will colonize the nation-state of Iraq for the duration of forty years, at the end of which, we will re-evaluate with intent to turn over Iraq to the Iraqi People, whom we hope will have finally had enough time to put their crap together (or like the Ancient Hebrews entering Cannan - the current generation will have died off, and their children will be ready to play nice with each other).

Under colonization, Iraqi will live within the strict military rule of The U.S. Military (as in, not the U.N.). The sucks for them, but that's just too bad. We did give them a choice and, if they did not get their crap together during the year we gave them, then they have - by default - made the choice of colonization.

Under this rule, the borders will be sealed - absolutely - as in we will build a replica of the Berlin Wall, if we must. In conjunction with this, the technological border will be sealed as well. Specifically, no other country, tribe, or "terrorist cell" will be able to pass instruction, information, or most importantly money, to anyone living in Iraq. Also, no citizen will be allowed to buy, sell or carry any weapon making materials or weapons themselves. This includes butter knifes. There will be a curfew. There will be education. There will women's self-defense classes.

Furthermore, The United States of America will impose - without remorse - prosperity and Bill Cosby on the Iraqi Culture. In short, The United States of America will make fat, happy, jello-pudding-pop-eating-people out of the Iraqis - and, again, we will do this without any remorse whatsoever.

Mission? Accomplished.

posted by Headless-in-GR @ 4/07/2007 09:45:00 AM