To London, With Love

Day begins at 4:30 a.m. I dreamed that my "cooperating teacher" (in English - the lady whose class I am student teaching) and I are catching cats and putting them in cages to keep them safe. My alarm sounds and I remember that I am taking the dog and cat to the airport today.

Fly away! Fly into the arms of my sister!

Yes, I'm sending my sister back her beautiful, sweet, fluffy kitty whose only flaw is the occasional protest poop when the litter box hasn't been cleaned. And I'm sending back the cocker spaniel...

Let's just say the dog is a little high strung, high maintance, high pitched... Actually, "high" is probably a good descriptor - as long as you think crack and not pot.

But I love her! I do!

And I digress... Ok, I get to the airport. I go in. I get a cart, which I have to pay for with my credit card, cause the machine only accepts $1's - like, not even change. I wheel it out; load 'em up, haul 'em in and stand in line.

The wrong line.

Ok, now we get in the right line.

But.

They won't take animals unless we get them checked in 45 minutes early and I'm 3 minutes too late. No exceptions. No reason. Go home and come back for the 10:15 flight. And oh, by the way, give lady at both $2.00 for parking.

Haul animals back to the car, back to the house, back upstairs. Think really hard about cleaning house. Take nap instead.

Wake up with a start at 8:30 a.m. Reload animals.
Dog: Joy and happiness! Another car ride!
Cat: Wiser this time around...puts up futile protest and get stuffed uncermoniously into crate.

To the airport. Get cart with two $1 dollar bills! I am learning! Checking in...and oh, by the way, what time will they arrive in Georgia?
Answer: 9:47 p.m.
Question: Why is it going to take 11 and a half hours to get to Georgia? It takes less time than that to fly to London.
Answer: Well, there's a 8 hour lay over in Cincinnati, but if you want, you can keep them and come back at 3:00 p.m. so they can take the 4:25 flight to Cincinnati and then connect to the flight for Georgia. (blink, blink)

To heaven: Dear God, make me a bird, so I can fly far, far away...

Pay same lady $2.00 for parking. Haul animals back to car, back to house, back upstairs. Think about violence. Meditate on milktoast instead. (I'm melting...)

I will not lose this day! Ok. Regroup. Go buy soil and mulch - and oh. Not just any mulch, mind you, high class mulch! Cause I'm high class! So I buy high class mulch! So there. I buy cocoa bean mulch!

So...first I spread the cow shit, and then I spread high class cocoa bean mulch!

My whole garden smells like chocolate...milk.

(Time elapse...)

Re-reload the cat and dog, take them to the airport, rent my third cart of the day, haul them in. The blonde chicky at the desk says "Oh, you should have waited until the 6 o'clock flight, so they wouldn't have such a wait in Cincinnatti!"

Her body collapses in a smoldering heap of ashes. I feel better.

New clerk takes her place. Dog and cat loaded 1 hour and 15 minutes later, I tell them exciting happy things and pretend we're at a carnival. Dog believes me for at least 10 seconds. Cat isn't buying crap, cause she's high class.

I leave - bawling like a stupid baby.

Pay same lady $2.00 for parking.

Go home.

Play in the cow poop.

Cause I'm high class...

posted by Headless-in-GR @ 4/06/2006 09:04:00 PM

 

Comments:

I would have bawled too!! And high class chocolate poop! YAY!
how fun.

WHAT a crazy day! I'm glad it finally happened though - that they got going.

This has Margarita written all over it.

# by:  Captainwow : 8:05 PM

 

Too funny! I think after the second trip, I would have just told the critters, "Welcome to Michigan. Hope you like it here because this is your home now."

We need to get together...call me.

# by:  Anonymous : 8:39 AM

 

You should have called me and we could've went to lunch at Little Mexico and I would've let you cry and talk about the pets!

I miss you!!! Call me or email.

# by:  Anonymous : 8:54 AM

 

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