Answer Number Seven!

7) I often deny my internal feelings in order to function in day to day stuff.

FALSE!

There was a time when emotion was immobilizing. There was a time when sadness and tears were excellent reasons for me to call off work for a day. In fact, if you were to look at my school grades during those times, you would see that all things turned in were given good grades, but most things were...simply...not turned in...at all.

This is because I was the kind of person who could not function in the day to day routine when faced with unhappy emotions. But that was years and years ago.

Perhaps you believe that I learned how to function by denying my emotions - or by "compartmentalizing" as my friend the Human Puzzler says? Put my emotions in their box, and go to work... It certainly seems like the "other choice", doesn't it?

I have recently been fascinated with the language people use to speak of their feelings. They say things like, "I need to get my emotions under control." They also say, "My heart says one thing and my head says another" as well as the above mentioned "compartmentalize."

Language has powerful shaping ability. I believe we have the ability to create our own realities - even societal realities - by the language we use. These realities do not always (or perhaps even often) correspond to the Truth, and to the extend that they do not correspond - that is the extent of the damage that we do to ourselves and each other.

When we speak as though our emotions are things that exist apart from us - be they controlling or controlled - we are fracturing ourselves into pieces...

Stop doing that!

There is a way to be whole - to choose neither to deny feeling in order to work or deny work in order to feel. The best way I know to explain what can happen is to ask you to think of yourself as an artist. As an artist, you will never cease to care about the quality of your work. As an artist, you will never cease to throw yourself into your work. And as an artist, what you produce is the gift of yourself to those around you.

But then comes the question - would you want the gift of you? Is the gift of you valuable?

This cuts both ways.

On one hand, we seem to be a culture phenominally poor at recognizing value unless it is reduced to the simple formula "more for less" with the added tag line "all things exist for your pleasure." So there is an ignorance concerning quality. We are used to things that look identical to each other rolling off the factory line - they're cheap, there's a lot of them and they look just like the Jones'. Because of this, producing the gift of your full self - be it in service, in planning, in production, in counceling - may not always be appreciated.

What a loss to those who can't appreciate. And what a great way to begin to challenge the culture around you! It is a risk you take and yes, you will be persecuted - but it will be for a good cause...

But I said it cuts both ways...and so it does.

While it is popular to say that everybody has value and everyone's expressions are valid - blah! Enough! The truth is that if I'm the kind of person who has feelings of contempt for those around me, then the gift of my full self is not very valuable at all! If I am the manager of some store, and I pour my full self into my work, as an artist does, and my full self is spiteful and mean and selfish - then the gift of me is NOT as valuable as, say what the gift would be if Mother Teresea was the store manager.

So yeah, there is such a thing as bad art.

And that is of course, the risk of the other angle. If you pour your full self - emotions and actions, thoughts and history, dreams and goals, all of it - if you integrate yourself into a whole person and act out of that - you will discover the uglies within. And so will everyone else.

But that's a good thing - right yall?

Practical Application: When I speak, I mean exactly what I say. DON'T "arm-chair psychologize" me! GRRRRrrrrrrrr!!!

posted by Headless-in-GR @ 11/09/2005 09:59:00 AM

 

Comments:

But Loi,

Truth and art (or expression) are two different things...

Art is based upon one's interpretation...an "untruth"...or in other words, "truthfulness," in art, comes from our knowledge that it is just an illusion...but it allows us to 'fully pour ourselves into our works'...like you say. We can mix as many colors as we want...to see something differently...to create a unique interpretation.

Truth, on the other hand, is the original mold or pattern...the form...the representation of things without regard to our interpretation.

# by:  Steve : 10:59 AM

 

All Truth is art, but not all art is true.

# by:  Headless-in-GR : 1:43 PM

 

"there is such a thing as bad art."

I love that!

*rushes off to eat white chocolate nestle's crunch bar*

# by:  spookyrach : 3:16 PM

 

so...

truth comes from art?

# by:  Steve : 12:29 AM

 

No. All truth contains within its being art - in other words, an aspect of truth is art. But not all things that we call "art" are truth. Not all expressions are true.

# by:  Headless-in-GR : 12:36 PM

 

I finally found you! When I tried to follow the link that you left when you commented on my blog, it went to this weird HTML thing. Just now, I was lurking at Captain Wow's husband's site and clicked on *headless* and there you were. I'm going to make a nice cup of tea, make myself comfortable, and read your blog. So Cool! The mystery is solved!

# by:  Patti : 2:31 PM

 

Language has a huge effect in life. My internal thought life(language) has a direct influence on my emotions. When my emotions seem out of whack, I use that as a cue to pay attention to my thought life.

# by:  Kevmo : 3:55 PM

 

I thought of you often while I was in TX, missy!

# by:  Pat : 12:19 AM

 

Knowing you mean exactly what you say is one of the most refreshing things about you! I wish more (lots more) people were like that!

# by:  Kim : 11:35 PM

 

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