Day 5 - Sign Me Up For One Last Hurrah!

10:00 AM -

I'm going to the ocean today. I'll walk as far as I can and then catch a bus. The only thing is that I find myself walking down the Royal Mile. What's so bad about that? Nothing! It's great! It's fabulous! It's also a little crowded. See, the entire month of August is "Festival" in Edinburgh. There is an official festival which offers opera and the like. Then there's the Fringe, which is a festival for normal people - or rather, I should say abnormal people with average economic incomes. All along the Royal Mile there are shows and shops and sellers of wares...and wears. There are leaflets for...

***DANNY BHOY***
***Stand-Up Comedy So Effortless!"***
***Sold Out 2001, 2002, 2003!***

And...

***Good Godfrey!***
***2003 Female Comedian of the Year!***

And then there's the "Virgin Club." If you're under 18...well... No, if you're under 30, please skip to the following paragraph...Ok, now that I have everyone's attention! Well, the Virgin Club is a play - I suppose - and it is advertised by a Walking Penis. A really large one. That towers over everyone's head...

I accidentally ran in to it.

Ok! Here we are in the next paragraph, so let's keep moving, shall we? (NO - That was not the hurrah! I can't believe you would suggest such a thing! Now, could we please move on!?! Honestly!)

11:15 AM -

I have walked a ways and now I see buses that indicate they are headed to "Ocean Terminal." That sounds good, right? Well, the bus does go to the ocean - just one problem - you just can't get to it. The first reason is that some lunatic built a mall on the beach! For crying out loud! To mess up perfectly good beach like that! I mean!

The second reason is that the Good Queen has parked her little boat right there on the water's edge. And she is no where to be found! Imagine that, you just go and park your Carnival Cruise Line, ten-layers-with-cool-whip-and-a-cherry boat right there so that nobody can get to the water - which is what the beach is for, hello? - to get to the water! - and go off shopping or whatnot! Unreal!!

12:00 PM -

After carefully studying the map and consulting all sorts of folks, I settle on a place called "Seyton Sands." Oh! There are no buses going there today!

Rats! Foiled again!

12:30 PM -

I wander back into town (ride the bus) with all the pout of a five year old. And with the attention span of said child as well. All I need is one good distraction...and I'm on to it! Tartuns!

Actually, I don't know how to spell tartuns, if you do, humor me. If you don't, good. We can be idiots together.

And if you don't know what one is, then I'll educate you (only because I just got educated too). A "tarton" or "tartun" is a pattern. It is a fabric pattern used to signify clanship in Scotland. Apparently, each Scottish family, or clan, created a unique pattern of colors (you would likely call the patterns "flannel patterns") and would then use this pattern in clothing, scarves, blankets, etc.

My Mom's family is pretty much right off the boat. I know where they come from, and they don't come from Scotland. My Dad's family, on the otherhand... Well, let's hear what Jesus had to say about them.

"Those who are born of the Johnson family are like the wind. You knoweth not where it (they) cometh from or where it (they) goeth..." -The Gospel of John(son) 3:28

So, in all honesty, there really is some indication that some of these folks came from Scotland. Yes, I know, "Johnson" probably didn't come from Lithuania! But anyway, I'm now determined to find the Johnson Tarton. The truth is I have found two different one's, and am trying to research the correct pattern. I will have to buy my dad a scarf - except he never wears them - cause he's from Texas. I wonder if I can find a Tarton Cap....hmm... Can you see my Texas dad wearing a flannel striped cap? Sherlock Holmes?

Oh well...

Finally, there's time to sign up for one last hurrah! I'm so very excited about it! Can you guess what it is?! No? Well, you'll just have to wait until Monday the 6th because that's the day of the last hurrah!

There were many more sights today and many more fun things and much more planning, but at the end of it all, I came home and collapsed on my little air mattress. I've been editing Cini's dissertation. It covers the concept of umma (best translation: community) in Islam and how it changes or "travels" through different circumstances and cultures. In Cini's case, he studied British-Pakistani Muslims in London, Birmingham and Glasgow. Once finished, I start - and finish - one of the funniest little books I have ever read. It is called, "The Sacred Diary of Adrian Plass - Christian Speaker Age 47 1/2."

You should read it! You will laugh! You will shout! You will say...

Hurrah!!!
(the one before the last one)

posted by Headless-in-GR @ 9/02/2004 01:57:00 PM